I'm officially feeling the college life.

Last year, all food was provided for me. Granted, it wasn't the best quality, but it was always there. This year...not so much. since i've decided to go home for spring break, i'm not going to the store to buy any groceries cause that would be ridiculous(RIDICULOUS!) to leave good food here to rot over spring bizzle....so i'm sitting here, putting off studying eating a bag of insta-cheddar/broccoli rice...courtesy of Lipton(COOKS IN 7 MINUTES!) all this to say...i don't like pre made food. i like fresh. i like stuff that doesn't look and taste like plastic. but...what can you do...





wait until mom makes some GOD SENT hamburgers and tater-tots and an ice cold diet coke....(as i take a bite of my Lipton rice...mmmm....yyyuuuummmm....)

another weird dream...

i was kidnapped. and held hostage in this big house. Part of the dream i was in it, and the other part, i was observing myself. (weird how that happens huh.) One part i had a rope or something tied around my ankle and i was in like murky water inside, and there were these police officers in the house looking for me and they found me but underneath the water, my kidnapper was pulling me under so just my hand stuck out. every so often he would release me and i would appear at the surface to try and ask for help, but no words came out. then i was pulled back down, as if it was some sort of game. finally, (this is a part where i was observing) my kidnapper walked away from the rope and i ran. as fast as i could(which didn't seem very fast cause its a dream and thats how it always works...stupid REM sleep.)
REM: When we switch into REM sleep, our breathing becomes more rapid, irregular, and shallow, our eyes jerk rapidly in various directions, and our limb muscles become temporarily paralyzed. Our heart rate increases, our blood pressure rises, and males develop penile erections. When people awaken during REM sleep, they often describe bizarre and illogical tales - dreams.(http://www.thirdage.com/healthgate/files/21261.html)

i escaped to a nearby car and told them to drive as fast as they could away. they drove, then next thing i knew i had to go BACK to that house to get Gina, Chloe, and Carley Diaz from the house. i grabbed Carley and Gina had Chloe and we ran to the car. but THEN, i was all of a sudden in a car with my Aunt Debbie saying that "he was going to find me and i couldn't go home because he'd find me...then i said, we have to get my family, he'll kill my family." it was dark and rainy...Debbie just kept telling me to calm down and he wasn't going to get me. But the whole time i kept looking around for him.




I'm officially weird.

sick-glad

I'm sick of school.
I'm sick of failing myself and others.
I'm sick of not doing the things i want to do.
I'm sick of worry. from myself and others.
I'm sick of lack of trust on all ends of my life.
I'm sick of not having a car.
I'm sick of not working to my potential.
I'm sick of checking the funds every day.
I'm sick of the hypocrites.
I'm sick of stereotypes.
I'm sick of not sleeping well at night.
I'm sick of running in place.
I'm sick of seeing people trying to restrain free spirited people to the point of complete destruction.
I'm sick of War.
I'm sick of routine.
I'm sick of being tested and having that be a gage of what i know.
I'm sick of waiting for what i want.
I'm sick of keeping my eye on the big picture.
I'm sick of "toughing it out"
I'm sick of gossip
I'm sick.


I'm glad i'm healthy.
I'm glad the sun has returned.
I'm glad i see flowers again.
I'm glad i can walk.
I'm glad i can laugh at myself.
I'm glad i have people that love me.
I'm glad i understand the world around me even though the test may not reflect that.
I'm glad i have become more outspoken/outgoing with my life.
I'm glad i've learned how to use Adobe Indesign.
I'm glad i have a park next to my house.
I'm glad i can play basketball with a bunch of guys and keep up.
I'm glad i have friends that i can fight with and work through problems, learn, then move on.
I'm glad my friends stay away from drama.
I'm glad i recycle.
I'm glad i care about our environment even though i'm given a hard time for it.
I'm glad i am able to learn from my mistakes and move on.
I'm glad i told my dad everything i've ever wanted to say to him to his face.
I'm glad i am able to help people.
I'm glad my life isn't perfect cause then it would be boring.
I'm glad i'm spontaneous
I'm glad i can love.
I'm glad i have a relationship with Christ that is deeper than people realize.
I'm glad.

The Little Things.

its the little things in life that get me up...or down. the entire world could be crumbling beneath me and i could handle it. but its the guy who cuts me off, printer not working, not having a dishwasher, one shoe on the floor...things that get me REALLY upset. BUT, on the flip side. the little things like someone holding a door, someone allowing you to go first in a grocery line because they have half the store on the conveyor belt and you've got a soda and bag of chips.

so...today.

We got a notice that our landlord was going to be on the premises and we needed to make sure our patios were cleaned up. well...we have about 6 bags of cans and bottles in our back porch. so...i get home from school and realize i need to get rid of these. so i put them in Whitney's car(step 1-removal of cans) some of these bags had been there since Syd, Eric, and Lauren visited(obviously we wait till we've got a good amount of cans to get us a good amount of cash) so...i muster up the drive to DRIVE to good ole' albertsons and return the cans.(step 2-actually returning cans) 30 minuts later(because its the kind where you have to put each can in individually...LAME) I'm walking up to the check out, and i pass a rack of french and garlic bread that smells INCREDIBLE. i look at the price(i was planning on making spaghetti anyways, so why not get some good bread to go along with it.) I had forgot, Albertsons bakes fresh bread daily at 4pm. it was 4:30...still warm. :sigh:...i grabbed a loaf for 1.89 and headed home. Sat down, ripped off the end grabbed a plate and mixed up some olive oil and vinegar and had my own little Italian snack. of course, NOT being 21(which I've found makes me socially retarded) instead of sipping on a wonderful glass of wine with my bread, i had a Gatorade bottle refilled with water...ahhhh...yes....life is good.

Nnnnnneeerrrrddddd

i've come to the realization that i am a nerd. not the sterotypical nerd with taped glasses and suspenders...i guess a better word would be...different.(?)

I've realized this because yesterday after class, do what i do every day...

>walk approximitly 7 minuts home to my townhouse.

>come to my door, usually inhaleing a little cigarette smoke from my fellow neighbors.

>scare one of the 15 cats that hang around the complex

>search for my keys...this, my friends should be a blog within itself. are they in the front pocket? no...oh, my purse, i put them there...no...gah. wait...no...ya...found them. at the bottom of my backpack, usually pulling up a few granola bar wrappers stuck in my lanyerd.

>attempt to make my "house key" fit into my "house" key hole. jiggle around till my doorhandle with a mind of its own allows me to enter.

>drop the back pack by the door.

>beam line it to the kitchen

>open each cuppard looking for the perfect afternoon/early evening snack.

>partake of the sweet manna from heaven

>start on homework.

>take a break from homework.

>get on netflix

-this is where my nerdy-ness comes in-

instead of browsing the latest award-winning films. i find myself perusing the Documentaries. mostly by National Geographic and a couple political ones, just because i like to see what's being said, and supposedly researched. I've probably got just as many Documentaries as i do entertaining films. so...when i caught myself looking up different documentaries, i stopped. looked at myself and shook my head..."i am ridiculous" is what i said to myself.

SO. all that to say. I'm a nerd who's favorite channel is the National Geographic Channel and Discovery Channel.